Reflections

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Staring into the mirror, Malia* looks at the small little Thai girl reflecting back at her. She studies her petite frame; from her bare little toes up to her dark head of short, black hair.  She takes in her skinny little wrists and small hands that dangle at her sides. Shifting her eyes to her small, gaps-and-teeth grin, she timidly smiles. Her eyes steadily search, moving along each part of her image but as her eyes meet their own reflection, her look deepens, almost as if to ask, Who is this girl?

As I move into the reflection behind her, I wish with all my heart she could see all that I see in her. I wish she could see past her small frame and dark hair, past her skinny wrists and small hands, and past her gaps-and-teeth grin. With all my heart, I want her to see her absolute beauty and worth. I want her to see a little girl who is unconditionally loved, fully known, and always wanted. I want her to see a little girl full of potential and brimming with possibility. I want her to see a beloved daughter of the Almighty King.

Heartbreakingly at the age of five, the world has already told her otherwise, whispering lie after lie into her little heart. The world has told her she is a burden and that she is worth little. It has told her love only comes with great conditions and people will always let her down. It has transferred her from place to place, person to person, because it’s difficult to find a safe place for vulnerable children, a child like her. It has robbed her of an education and access to opportunities that will give her possibilities in the future. It has told her she is little more than a commodity that is being preyed upon by those ready to take advantage of the vulnerable.   

Malia and her slightly older sister, Kaylee*, came walking through the doors of our home as the newest members of our family. As they arrived one midmorning, they tailed their mother, grandmother, and the RN Thai director P’Mam looking a little overwhelmed at all of their new surroundings. With big eyes, they took in the big room before them, the four walls that would become not only their house, but hopefully their home. Before long, it came time for their mother and grandmother to leave, and it did not come without tears. Yet, again in their short lives they were being uprooted and placed in a new place with new people. 

Malia and Kaylee came to our Remember Nhu home after facing years of being transferred from place to place, each time facing dangers that forced them to move again. They were born to an unwed couple, their father choosing to walk out on the family, leaving the young mother to care for three children, including one that was blind since birth. With the need to work and the desire to have a social life in the city, the young mother moves Malia and Kaylee in with their grandmother in the village, and rarely has time to visit the girls. This arrangement works for a time, but then the girls’ grandmother gets remarried, and the girls are often left home with her new husband while she works. With fear that the girls are not safe with this man, they are moved to live with their great-grandfather. He is in his late 80s and soon questions arise as to his ability to care for them and protect them from being trafficked. It is at this point, that one of our RN staff heard the girls’ story, and with a heavy but hopeful heart set out to find the girls and offer them another option.

Soon they were walking in our doors, arriving at our RN Home of Refuge. If only they could understand that this home is different, established to offer what their other homes didn't.  In this home they are safe. They are unconditionally loved and valued. They are wanted and sought out to grow in relationships. They are supported physically, spiritually, emotionally and academically. But when they’ve never experienced this before, how are they to understand? It's our challenge and joy as a community at Remember Nhu to strive to prove each of these things to each of our girls every single day.

Unfortunately, we never got the chance to prove it to Malia and Kaylee. Just like a reflection, Malia and Kaylee came and went. Their father heard they had been moved to RN, and decided he would rather raise the girls instead. So within a week of arriving, the girls were gone.

My heart breaks for them, because I know all that RN has to offer and I wanted them to experience the love of this home for more than a week. I'm sad that I won't get to be a part of helping them see the beautiful little girls they are and let them know they are cherished and wanted. I'm a little angry that their father just now decided he wanted them after years of being absent and uprooted them one more time. 

I also realize that I have to trust Malia and Kaylee to the One who loves them more than any of us here at RN ever could. Though I don't understand, He has a plan for their precious little lives. He will show them unconditional love and He will speak into their absolute beauty and worth. I just pray in the midst of the brokenness of the world they can recognize it. I also pray that even for the very short time they were in our home, they saw a reflection of themselves as they truly are and the impact of this experience will bring a little Light into their lives. 

Written By: Kelli H., Remember Nhu Intern
To support Kelli's work in the field go to:
Note Kelli H. - Thailand in the notes section.


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